on Being White

Sometimes i find that being a mad Mlungu (white South African) follows me around like a really bad smell. My heart is to take the mind/body/spirit tools to wherever I can, to make a difference to an aching world. I find myself being "called" to places in Soweto, the youth, pre-school teachers for instance. I have been going into places like Orlando east for years - to give what I have from my heart. Sitting on plastic chairs designed for children, low and near to the ground, without any training equipment to speak of, I have run many courses there. These times bring back very fond memories. I remember fondly being sung "Im gonna let my little light shine" after one of the trainings, tears still sting my eyes when I think of it!

There have been times in my life when being white was an issue which affected me really badly, l remember being told I was a "Round peg in a square hole" after I had started a Social Entrepreneurship organisation for the Prince of Wales Youth Business Trust called the Nation's Trust. I didn't let them get away with it of course, and they paid dearly for making the horrible mistake of sending a Carribean-Brit - a very large and intimidating black woman to do the dirty deed. She almost fainted at the hearing when the Arbitrator ruled in my favour.

It didn't strike me t before coming to Liberia but here it is again...... before the training today Anu was speaking to Cerue, a very powerful Liberian woman who has mobilised the women here to great action. She came to me afterwards and said that the group was surprised to see that Anu had not brought a black person with her - but me a whitey.

Ah will it ever leave me......this sense sometimes that i dont fit in? for now, I am choosing to keep stepping forward, being myself, loving, kind, generous, a person after transformation.
With wobbly warrior knees i will keep stepping and keep stepping forward.

Grateful for the skills and knowledge that I carry with me, and which enables and empowers me to bring what I have with love.